When you come so far in a big lifestyle change such as a diet – but it all goes back to the way it was again. It’s disappointing. All the hard work and challenging moments you’ve overcome but yet you’re right back there again.
My experience was that I quit sugar on a few occasions, 3 to be exact, and each with success and tremendous effects which I felt amazing, lost weight I had put on over the years – and felt free from the power that the cravings have over me.
It may sound over the top, but it’s true. It’s an addiction and something I have struggled with for years.
I failed, each time because I thought I had it under control or that just one little treat would be ok. It wasn’t and it was just a slippery slope right back to where I started, including piling the pounds back on. Why is this time any different? Well, because this time I really know why I always return to the sweetness of sugar.
It’s for comfort. I use it in times of stress – which let’s face it I’m quite a stressy personality and something I’m working on – but even without that, being an artist can be stressful, the pressure of being a wedding photographer can be stressful, putting yourself out there for the world and industry to judge can be stressful and of course running your own business can be stressful. This is before any other little bumps in life happen, which have they have over the past couple of years.
Instead of practising being a calmer, stronger person – I quit sugar and expected that life would be rosy, that it would help my health and my confidence due to weight too. It did, but also it took away my main coping mechanism and ultimately I’d find it too difficult and return to late night snacking on chocolate to get through many hours of editing and so on.
This time, I’m practising more mindfulness, more awareness of how I feel and unnecessary negativity and drama we can sometimes get caught up in – both professionally and personally. This is going to help me to move on.
No more being ruled by needing a sugary snack every few hours and the threat of how depleted my energy is without it. No more running away from my feelings and reaching for something sweet – I’m going to deal with them. This may not be a revelation to some, and it may be an ah-ha moment for others stuck in the same vicious circle.
And what does this have to do with branding or business or the wedding industry? What’s my point with this self indulgent piece?
For Me, I’ve found that some of the pressures, judgements and behaviours in our industry has impacted me and others around me – so that we feel anxious, unconfident and unable to be ourselves. I absolutely love instagram, but I’ve been afraid to share myself fully as I want to for fear of judgements or the pressure to be perfect, to be beautiful. To me instagram is a key place to connect and showcase my work, style and brands – and meet the kind of people I want to work with. So just this one element is impacted by my feelings, lack of self worth and the grip sugar has on me.
I want this blog as well as my photography blog to be filled with my life, myself and to connect with like-minded people. Until now it hasn’t felt possible. I’ve tried but I need to work on accepting myself and caring less about others judgements of me. I crave to be authentic, I don’t ever want to misrepresent a life I don’t lead or a Me that isn’t actually Me.
So now I feel more prepared and ready to move on from my sugar addiction but also bad habits of choosing to be stressed and putting myself down. Less sugar and less shame. Ultimately it’s about being kinder to yourself and we all need that.
From this piece you’ll know more about me but hopefully my openness will encourage others to address the pressures we feel in the industry, how we can care more for ourselves and that our businesses would benefit from this effort. I’ll be keeping you up-to-date through my newsletter and snippets on instagram.